Monday, June 23, 2008

The Ten Worst Habits in a Pakistani

Urban201 Fresh01


by | Arificial Intelligence

1. Scratching in Public

During prayers, after lunch, in the midst of a chat or at the morning assembly, you will always find a handful of individuals scratching. They are itch-bitten; some virus, dust particles, bacteria or simply the heat is always causing them the ’itch’ throughout their arms, over their neck or worst still, the legs.

2 and 3. Accepting/Giving Bribe

Whether it is for importing a luxury car or for getting his son an admission to the prestigious university, or to get the land-line telephone fixed; Pakistanis give bribe to get things done.

It is sad that giving bribe has become second nature to us. We do it as naturally as we would do any other normal thing. There is never this sense of guilt.

4. Staring unendingly

You don’t have to wear two different socks, or have sunglasses on indoors, to get noticed. Pakistani’s will stare at you just for the sake of it. Their eyes will follow you as long as you are in their RADAR screen. During the ’stare’ you will be scanned for all the details required for the fifth worst habit in Pakistani’s.

5. Gossiping

Pakistanis have a soft spot for gossips. They are always at it; during office hours, at the dinner table or over a hot cup of tea. Gossiping, they would discuss mercilessly about the in-vogue stories of the town; doing a little bit of defaming of the hero of the story, some character assassination and lots of sensationalizing.

6. Cheating to Win 

It is OK to cheat if you win.

This Pakistani habit is most visible during general elections. Ardent workers allow their party clean-sweeps by casting vote multiple times. Hence an election turnout of 5% comes out as 25%, with the party with the greater and more influential number of workers, winning.

When the election farce is over, and results are announced, there are no street protests, hunger strikes or mass civil unrest, because it is a generally accepted notion: It is OK to cheat if you win.

7. Impunctual

The lucky number is 2, and the unlucky number is 3.

If a Pakistani commits to do something in a certain time frame, you are lucky if you have to add 2 to the given unit of time. Marriage ceremonies scheduled at 9 would begin at 11, and the Blood sample report to be collected on Monday would be available by Wednesday.

You are unlucky if the number is 3, since in the Nation called Pakistan, things which are destined to be 3 hours, 3 days or 3 years late; usually don’t take place.

8. Bragging

"My father is the Mastermind behind the five largest dams of Pakistan. We belong to the ’Samoon’ cast, the guys who ruled this province for 500 years, and meet me, I am Arif; the guy who secured the 2nd position in the much coveted MUET University Admission Test."

I may have sounded lame, but like the other 165 Million Pakistanis, I am a bragger. I am able to impress the people around me through bragging.

9. Nepotism

The biggest political party in Pakistan is an icon of Nepotism. Read this,

Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto forms a party in November 30, 1967. As he receives his life sentence in 1979, his daughter, Benazir Bhutto becomes the Party Chairman.

December, 2007 and Benazir Bhutto is assassinated. Her son, Bilawal Bhutto is named the Party Chairman. So for this party,to date, its leader has always been a member of the Bhutto family.

Is this the leadership transition of a democratic party or a banana republic kingdom?

Favoring close friends and relatives is considered a devout act in Pakistan. A nepotic person is highly respected for his interventions and concessions, and is regarded a philanthropist.

10. Lazy

10:30 hrs Arrive at the office.
12:00 hrs Leave for lunch.
15:30 hrs Return to Office.
16:30 hrs Leave for home.

This was actually the work-cycle of a KESC employee, the one among the few considered loyal and hard-working, because most of his colleagues don’t even bother coming to the office. They arrive only on days when the pay cheque is to be collected.

Hard to admit it, but I have to say that we Pakistani’s are a lazy lot. The guy mentioned above would kill himself out of boredom from the lack of responsibilities in his life, but would never do some serious ’W.O.R.K’. He is just lazy; like the rest of us.

Women are no farther behind in this Battle of the Lazies. They relax all day courtesy of a team of maids,

  • one maid for cooking,

  • one maid for cleaning,

  • one maid for dishwashing,

  • one maid for washing clothes.
While The Team works at their home, they:
  • Watch indian soaps.
  • Chat on the phone.
  • Visit the make-up parlour to improve on fading looks and catchup on spicy gossip.

"It’s a lazy nation that I live in."

Coming Soon: The 10 best habits in a Pakistani.


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